Dia De Los Naked

(originally posted 11/5/09)

Madison naked enthusiasts:

Thank you for being an excellent and receptive audience.  I am Babe Lincoln, your favorite Dead President, and this is my blog.

Madison’s first NGR event was a few scant days ago and I was lucky enough to participate.  For those of you who were not there: you are terrible people.  But fear not!  For I shall write a little something here.

So.  Being that it was Dia de los Muertos AND the day after Halloween, we had an appropriate theme, and silly me had a vision in my head of beautiful naked girls in little witch hats or vampire teeth and striped stockings.  I went for a Caleveras look and painted half my face like a skeleton, and then took it lower and shaded in half my ribcage and one arm.  I was very proud of myself.  My good friend Cheeky Friday wanted something more subtle so we dribbled a tiny bit of fake blood on her lips.

Imagine my awkward surprise when we arrived before the show and all three other girls were done up like very beautiful, non-costumed girls!  No hats or scary makeup or anything!  Cheeky almost blended in but I definitely stood out.

I shook off that surprise and wandered around the room a bit.  Some people were milling around setting up, and one person had her daughter there.  This young little sapling took one look at me in my robe and half-skeleton face and announced: “Hey!  I thought you were supposed to look PRETTY to do this!”

Hah!  Kids!  I love ’em!

I tried to beat a hasty retreat to an adults only area, but the little tyke followed me and continued to exclaim on how only half my face was nice looking.  Then she noticed a shadow of a tattoo peeking from my robe, and grabbed at the hem to see it better, thus revealing my privates to an underage lady!  Gasp!  But do not worry or call the authorities; for I have lightning fast reflexes and grabbed my robe from her.  Then I ran away.

My feelings of awkward disaster were not improved when I walked out too soon, or when I announced my first reading: Herbert West–The Reanimator by H.P. Lovecraft.  Hi, everyone!  I’m the weird half ugly skeleton girl who likes dorky books!  Dur hur!  Snort snort!  I might as well have kept on my faded black tee-shirt with the sarcastic slogan.

Anyway, I digress.  H.P. Lovecraft was actually very well received and many people complimented my makeup.  I started to feel better after the first act and went back to rocking my style, children be damned!  I had a lot of fun doing Hamlet with Cheeky and reading children’s scary stories to the audience.  Thank goodness two of my friends were in the front row, because I was not enthused about the possibility of jumping up from my chair and screaming “Booga boo!” to some total strangers while totally nude (I’m not 19 anymore).

I was wholly impressed with the selections the other girls had.  Michelle and Greta were intimidatingly statuesque, and their reading voices are far more rehearsed.  Gosh golly!  I felt subdued until Michelle and I swapped notes on how much we hate children and Greta told me that she loved the thought-provoking assignments NGR produces.  Aw!  They are so nice!  Franky Vivid responded well to my stupid Wisconsin Death Trip selection and I positively beamed.  Hooray!  The Chicago NGR seems amazing and I fully recommend it to anyone who can get out there.

Mauricio, you are oddly skilled at wrangling six naked Madison girls.  No one else could do that so well!  Thank you!

Madison, you were a very good audience.   Some guy told me I “cut an impressive figure”.  Thanks!  I think you’re the “Bee’s knees!”  Please come back for the December show and some naked Fairy Tales!

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~ by ngrblogadmin on January 11, 2010.

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